Short Skirt/Long Jacket

Okay, so I've copied and pasted the lyrics (from my handy dandy iTunes widget that fetches lyrics for me) for the verses from the song "Short Skirt/Long Jacket" by Cake. (anybody need a back-up singer for the game Don't Forget the Lyrics?!)

Can I just say ... I want this girl too?! She is awesome. Except for maybe the burning eyes part. I don't want my eyes to burn like cigarettes. (stop smoking right now if you do!!! it's disgusting pleaseexcusemewhileivomitatthethoughtofanyonesmoking)

A mind like a diamond - a girl who knows what's best? Yes, please.

The right allocations? Fast, thorough, and sharp as a tack? Yes, please. Especially in this economic climate. Where has my 401(k) gone?!

Uninterrupted prosperity? Yes, Yes, Please!

Here's the part that gets me, though. "A voice that is dark like tinted glass".

This isn't a girl. This is a woman. Now, I'm the first to admit that I'm guilty of calling everyone a guy or girl regardless of age. (4, 40, 400, I almost always just say "girl".) But, I think I'm finally going to stop that. I just turned 29, and I should try to embrace maturity. I'm a woman already by some standards (legal, I guess since I'm over 18. Fine, so make it by ONE standard.) But nobody really refers to me as a woman. Young lady, young woman, fine. I have a baby face, so people don't even think I'm over 25 usually. And to old people, 25 is young. Getting married changed me from a Ms. to a Mrs., which made me feel a little womanly. But, how often do I need to use the Mrs.? Hardly at all! (not that I'm complaining. I don't really like Mrs. ick. it sounds old. and frumpy. kind of like 29 sounds.)

So, no wonder I feel empowered whenever I hear this song on my Genius playlist. I want to be a woman who cuts through red tape and picks up slack. I want to be a woman who can handle it all and still fiddle with my hair and be girly in a womanly way.

Maybe what I need is a briefcase and a new suit. Ixnay the briefcase. I just got a new Nine West bag. Maybe just a new pair of heels and a blazer. Yes. This feels right.

Short Skirt/Long Jacket (lyrics)

I want a girl with a mind like a diamond I want a girl who knows what's best I want a girl with shoes that cut And eyes that burn like cigarettes I want a girl with the right allocations Who is fast and thorough and sharp as a tack She is playing with her jewelry, she's putting up her hair She is touring the facility, and picking up slack I want a girl who gets up early I want a girl who stays up late I want a girl with uninterrupted prosperity Who uses a machete to cut through red tape With fingernails that shine like justice And a voice that is dark like tinted glass She is fast, thorough, and sharp as a tack She is touring the facility, and picking up slack I want a girl with a smooth liquidation I want a girl with good dividends At Citibank we will meet accidentally We'll start to talk when she borrows my pen She wants a car with a cup-holder arm rest She wants a car that will get her there She's changing her name from Kitty to Karen She's trading her MG for a white Chrysler Le Baron

Howdy

So, I guess I have a slight Texan twang for certain words. Most people don't notice, but every once in a while, someone will comment on my pronunciation or wording.

Par example:

Everyone Else: green beans

Me: green BEANS (This is true of any type of beans as long as the first word is only one syllable. I don't think I stress the beans so much when I say kidney beans. Then, it's KIDney beans. Maybe this isn't Texan so much as just a bit of sass which is usually attributed to being raised in the South instead of these Yanks I'm surrounded by who pronounce everything correctly, of course.)

Everyone Else: you, you guys, etc.

Me: y'all (Sorry, I stand by it. It's a perfectly acceptable contraction of "you all". Use it. Love it.)

Everyone Else: Aunt, pronounced like it's spelled

Me: Aunt, pronounced like ant (I just can't make myself say Aunt. It feels wrong in my mouth.)

Everyone Else: Texan

Me: Texin :)

and, of course ...

Everyone Else: Husband, pronounced Huzbund.

Me: Husband, pronounced Huzbind.

The other night, I was sleepy and talking nonsense. I said to le husband, "how do you spell huzbind?" And he answered, "H U Z B I N D". I smiled and drifted off to happy sleep. It still makes me smile.

Ta Ta, Holidays

The holidays are officially over in our home. The tree is down, the gift boxes have been broken down and taken out, and now we have order once again.

Now, it's birthday time! Happy birthday month to mois.

Tortilla Espanola

disclaimer: I don't know how to insert a tilda over the n, so you'll just have to forgive me. Thank you.

Despite having a cold, I've been into cooking this weekend. Usually, I try to focus on one main meal for the weekend's cooking accomplishments, but somehow I've managed to be adventurous in between the sniffles and coughs and hazy fevers. I especially like it when my head spins because I bent down to get another pan from the cabinet.

I got a new cookbook for Christmas, Barefoot Contessa/Back to Basics. I flipped through it and I immediately knew I had to make Tuscan Lemon Chicken this weekend. It was SO good, and it came out looking just like the picture. I served the oven roasted vegetables from the book also. A nice lady at the Wegman's butcher counter wished me luck with the recipe, so maybe that's why it came out so well. I digress.

So, this morning, when the cold really got into full swing, I was clicking around the internet while I had my coffee, and I saw this recipe for a Spanish tortilla. I've always wanted to try this out, and I think when I've tried to make it before, I just ended up making potatoes O'Brien or home fries and scrambled eggs because I already knew how to do that. This time, I resisted the urge, and stuck to the recipe. It was so yummy. The potatoes were perfectly done and creamy, and flipping the tortilla was easier than I thought it would be. I served it on my cake platter. I think that next time I'll add something green, like thin pieces of asparagus. I didn't have any leftover from the oven roasted vegetables, though. Oh, and instead of the Spanish paprika, (because who has that?) I just used a little cayenne for color and a little spice.

I'm so glad I tried new recipes this weekend! Now, a hot shower and more Tylenol.

*Photos taken by my new iPhone!!!! Also a Christmas present: my cold, from le nephew. Thanks, E.

I don't like it when ...

* ... people don't pronounce H's at the beginning of words. "Yooston" instead of "Houston". "Yuge" instead of "Huge". You get it. I think it's the people from the midwest who do this. * ... news anchor people are perky before I've had my coffee. I have my coffee at 6:20ish a.m. Is it so hard to just postpone the perkiness for an hour? Come on, people. * ... people don't fill out the address forwarding card when they move so the post office will have permission to redirect the mail that's sent to their old address, aka, my current address. Ms. Benescoma, I'm talking to you. Ditto, Mr. Iverson. I can't even do anything about it. I've written "return to sender", "not at this address", etc. I keep getting their mail. Don't they notice they aren't getting any bank statements?! * ... I wake up an hour before my alarm will go off and can't fall back asleep until ten minutes before the alarm does finally go off. This is why I couldn't stop yawning this afternoon at work. It was that kind of sleepy where your head wobbles and you startle yourself when you realize you're supposed to have control of your head.

Merry Christmas - here's an old shirt

OMG. From the archives of "HOW DID THIS GET PUBLISHED?" comes this article from the Houston Chronicle. It can't be a coincidence that I read this article on the same day that I read "It's Official - we've been in a recession since last December".

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/headline/features/6141573.html

Headline = Holiday Hint: Get Creative with wrapping paper

Here's the cut-and-paste version of the article:

In these days when every penny counts, don’t waste your money on wrapping paper. There are multiple ways to wrap presents, many of which can be achieved with stuff lying around your house. Save money, think green and surprise your family and friends with gifts wrapped in one of these five alternatives: 1.A tea towel, old or new. 2.Newspaper, or any printed paper, including old maps, pages from atlases or colorful magazine pages. 3.Layers of tissue paper with leaves tucked between them. 4.Vintage fabric. 5.An old shirt. Cut the back off, wrap the shirt front around the gift and secure the sleeves on top with string.

The lowlights:

1. The tea towel, (gag), is open to being either old or new. Old or new?!

2. Tissue paper with leaves tucked inside? I don't even get it. Why do we need to go outside and pick up dirty old leaves? The tissue paper is the only suggestion that makes sense. Why ruin it with leaves?!

3. She wants me to do what with the sleeves of an old shirt? From vintage fabric (which only a chic person would have lying around their house, so I'm trusting that this option at least has potential) to tying an old shirt around a box, and then on top of that, to not even TRY to disguise that it's an old shirt, but to openly flaunt the shirtyness of it by tying the SLEEVES on top of the box?!

I expected to read an article about how to create interesting patterns with wrapping paper, or how to make your own bows instead of buying the cheap ones with the peel-off backs. Instead, I received advice on how to make my loved ones' gifts look like:

Sam doesn't even want to be near it. Even HE can tell there is something wrong with this picture.