Crime Scene

At the law firm I work for, there was a crime scene today. It's not what you might think. There was no gunshot, no high speed chase, no emergency calls to family and friends to let them know we were all okay. This was a different kind of crime - a silent crime. I've heard of victimless crimes before, and this fell into that category, but only depending on who you ask. It was a Thursday morning like any Thursday morning. The weekly breakfast club had donuts and pound cake in the kitchen. At approximately noon, I became aware of a scene in the main copy room. A coworker asked me if I had been to the crime scene yet. Irresistible curiosity pulled me towards the copy room. There, on the floor, was the evidence: The evidence was sloppily left in plain sight on the floor. There was no mistaking it - SOMEONE had dropped a bit of pound cake, or even perhaps a cake donut morsel (that's open for debate), and LEFT the scrap on the floor, in front of the copier. From the personality profile I have compiled, the perpetrator was most definitely a member of the breakfast club (of which I am not), which means: 1. This person is too busy on Thursday mornings to eat breakfast at home. (What else are they doing on Thursday mornings? We need a team of investigators to find out.) 2. This person may be blind. After all, anyone with working eyeballs would know they dropped such a massive bit of pound cake/cake donut and would feel compelled by an innate sense of responsibility to pick up said morsel. 3. Finally, this person obviously exited the building after committing the crime. The crime scene tape was left alone all day by all of the coworkers. Only one time was the morsel accidentally knocked out of its square by a wayward shoe. (That perpetrator was quickly admonished. No worries.) As such, our perpetrator would certainly have noticed the tape and been, again, compelled by an innate sense of responsibility to confess the crime and receive just consequences. No such confession was heard. In short, our team of investigators will need to scrutinize building security footage to narrow down the list of employees who left our office after noonish today, and narrow down that list by the Breakfast Club roster. It's all in a day's work, I guess. I wonder what tomorrow will bring?