Thursday, July 24, 2008

Bad Everything Days

I was talking with someone today about how sometimes you just don't have a good hair, face, figure, etc. day. Sometimes, all of that happens at once and it's the worst day ever that you could imagine having your picture taken. Imagine being a celebrity and that happens to you. Then your picture is published and snarky columnists and bloggers alike write slick lines about how ugly you looked that day. (They don't say "ugly", but that's what they always mean, isn't it?)
One day, little Katie Holmes, our sweetheart from Dawson's Creek, decided to marry Tom Cruise. On that day, there was officially no going back. The spectacle that is TomKat was born, then came Suri, and she is forever in the public eye. That poor girl never saw it coming. Look.

What could have possibly happened on this day? This is just like those days when you can't decide what to wear, so you end up trying on ten million outfits, and before you know it, you've burned 45 minutes trying on clothes and discarding the rejects on the bed, the floor, everywhere!! Then your friend, boyfriend, whoever, gets impatient and says it's time to go NOW. At this point, you resort to simply meeting the goal of covering up your body with whatever is around and run out the door, praying that nobody you know will run into you.

Poor Katie.

Monday, July 21, 2008

My dog can walk.

The best thing about having a dog is that they make you laugh a lot. Maybe not if you have a boring dog, I guess. Luckily, I don't. This is what Sam and I did tonight:

Saturday, July 19, 2008

The Dark Knight

The first words out of le husband's mouth this morning: "10:00 a.m." The first words out of my mouth this morning: "Is that what time it is?" When I found out it was only 8:00, I rolled over and muttered something about making coffee. The 10:00 a.m. referred to what time we would be at the theater to see the new Batman movie. I grudgingly (so tired) got out of bed soon after, had my coffee, got dressed and rode in the car. He didn't even try to make me drive! The theater was pretty full, but not too bad. He gets snaps for picking a good movie time. He also gets snaps for taking me to see Batman.

I don't want to spoil it for anyone, so no details here, folks. I will say that at the end of the movie, I was like one of those screaming girls from the 60's whenever The Beatles were on TV or something. Fluttering heart, wide open eyes so I could take it all in, and thinking "Batman!". Just like this:

You will, too. Even if you're a guy. Two thumbs up.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Crime Scene

At the law firm I work for, there was a crime scene today. It's not what you might think. There was no gunshot, no high speed chase, no emergency calls to family and friends to let them know we were all okay. This was a different kind of crime - a silent crime. I've heard of victimless crimes before, and this fell into that category, but only depending on who you ask. It was a Thursday morning like any Thursday morning. The weekly breakfast club had donuts and pound cake in the kitchen. At approximately noon, I became aware of a scene in the main copy room. A coworker asked me if I had been to the crime scene yet. Irresistible curiosity pulled me towards the copy room. There, on the floor, was the evidence: The evidence was sloppily left in plain sight on the floor. There was no mistaking it - SOMEONE had dropped a bit of pound cake, or even perhaps a cake donut morsel (that's open for debate), and LEFT the scrap on the floor, in front of the copier. From the personality profile I have compiled, the perpetrator was most definitely a member of the breakfast club (of which I am not), which means: 1. This person is too busy on Thursday mornings to eat breakfast at home. (What else are they doing on Thursday mornings? We need a team of investigators to find out.) 2. This person may be blind. After all, anyone with working eyeballs would know they dropped such a massive bit of pound cake/cake donut and would feel compelled by an innate sense of responsibility to pick up said morsel. 3. Finally, this person obviously exited the building after committing the crime. The crime scene tape was left alone all day by all of the coworkers. Only one time was the morsel accidentally knocked out of its square by a wayward shoe. (That perpetrator was quickly admonished. No worries.) As such, our perpetrator would certainly have noticed the tape and been, again, compelled by an innate sense of responsibility to confess the crime and receive just consequences. No such confession was heard. In short, our team of investigators will need to scrutinize building security footage to narrow down the list of employees who left our office after noonish today, and narrow down that list by the Breakfast Club roster. It's all in a day's work, I guess. I wonder what tomorrow will bring?